8:52 PM

A Slip of Tongue...

Diana Dors was a English actress from the "Elizbeth Taylor,Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly' Era. She was one of the many stereotypical blonde bomb shells, "Uk's answer to Marilyn", who made it big, thanks to dye-jobs, and what-their-momma's-gave-em.

(For the record, She was an original and she slam-dunked the blonde bimb thing long before Marilyn, its just MM shot to fame before Diana got the chance)

Now Diana's real name was Diana Fluck. The following Paragraph I am gonna copy/ paste directly cause its just that-much-awesome


“They asked me to change my name. I suppose they were afraid that if my real name Diana Fluck was in lights and one of the lights blew...”

According to Dors' autobiography, she was once asked and readily agreed to open a fête in her home town of Swindon, England. Prior to the festivities, Dors lunched with the local vicar, during which she informed him that her real name was Diana Fluck. The vicar became somewhat worried about his planned speech. After lunch, they arrived at the fête at the appointed time. The vicar, totally unnerved about mispronouncing "Fluck", introduced Diana with these immortal words:

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you our star guest. We all love her, especially as she is our local girl. I therefore feel it right to introduce her by her real name; Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the very lovely Miss Diana Clunt."

4:32 AM

...living happily ever after

Are you one of the about-to-get-married ones?..

Are you sick and tired of talking about crockery, cutlery, 'electronics', 'whether you are living with your in-laws?', 'your bridal', 'your choice of photographer/ caterer/ mehndi walli/ parlour/ decorator'...

Are you getting cold feet, thanks to all the aunties/ uncles who have been telling you nut-busting stories of how bad being married can be?

Is it the first time in your life that you are spending money by the tons on yourself and you are just not getting that retail buzz you get from shopping?..

Here's what you should do:

Elope. Go on honeymoon. Make a crazy ass sex-tape. Leak on internet . earn big dough. Live happily ever after.

Call me.

tell me how it goes.

11:25 PM

Current status: Freakingly Rantish

I am a libertarian. by that I mean, I believe in freedom and liberty and that I am opposed to any phenomenon which might interfere with a person's right to the two.

So, its because of that I hate Goody-two-shoes. Yes, there are some exceptions. Like my sisters, and some of my close friends. My mom even. The problem I have with them is simple. They are always on their Moralistic-high-horse. They have a holier than thou, sanctimonious, over-exaggerated pietistic attitude , which can kiss my perky lil ass any day, any time.

They make my life inconvenient, cause the society (read: sad sorry asses) judges me according to them. Their behavior, their choices, their life style become a standard for which I am pressurized/ coerced/ forced into withholding.

...and I just truly don't want to.

1:46 PM

My list of Under-rated goodness

I already mentioned my love for lists some time back. Today when I woke up it felt like it was a listy kinda day. After scratching my head some and random cyber-doodling here it is...

The List of Under-rated stuff. Things which are quite ass-kicking but somehow haven't gotten the kind of attention and loving as they totally deserve

(all of you who read this, feel free to add your items in the comments section...)


Sex God
Kunal Kapoor, especially in Meenaxi…yum yum yummy..

In this here,..makes me wanna curl up in a foetal position and only think of him and nothing else ( @ 2:51, sit up straight and pay attention!)

Sex Goddess
Vanessa Ferlito- That Lap dance in Death proof.. friggin hot.. how come guys aint goin gaga over her? ..

A Good Guy
What's wrong with being a good guy?.. Having morals,values and principles. Having manners. Saying 'Please', and 'Thankyous'. Not polluting?..a plant lover can be sexy too, ya know!

Black Beauty
A woman who has come to terms with the fact that she is dark-skinned. They are a rarity..

So I jump up&down and do a happy dance, when i see one on tv.. I am a big fan of her, and her, just cause of this one reason.

Pen and Paper
I started keeping a journal when I was 9. I wasn't very regular and there are phases I totally have no parchment-al proof of my life, but whenever i sat down with a pen and a paper it was magical... Maybe I am just a narcacist, but seeing my own writing, those curvy g's and f's, was at times almost therapeutic... For me, writing has that personal touch, a sense of historical importance, which printed form just can not provide.

...and then them hand written love letters. The joy of just holding an envelope in your hand. The power they have! an ugly bugger, a complete jackass, a faggot, or even a drag queen can turn you in a blubbering bimb made of cowdunglookalike putty with a clumsy scroll on a piece of carelessly torn out paper. No amount of emails, sms's, tweets, or facebook posts can compete with the kind of magic, papyri jujuism unto you.

Blogging
It never fails to amaze me how there are so many people, in today's tech-savvy world, who are not aware of the concept. Everyone knows Google, Orkut, Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter but Blogger/ Wordpress etc, are still relatively unknown... Why?.. Go figure..

Women Athletes
I know there is some huff and puff about Maria Sharapova, and then Anna Kournikova (..but that was cause of a very obvious reason) but seriously... the women athletes, as a demographic have some serious sexy business going on...

How can the world forget to ooh-aah about a serious hot chica driving a seriously hot car, nevertheless be a champion indycar racer!!!....






..and the female wrestlers?... They are the exact sort of trashy girls, all you boys dream off... I mean, I wanted to put some pictures up for referance ...but...ermm ... they werent many kosher ones I could find ... but like google em. you'll get what I am talking about (Mickie James, Velevet Sky, ODB - she's nasty btw, Angelina Love etc etc)

Urdu Literature
You have been dealt a bad hand when you open your eyes in a third-world country, like Pakistan. Political turmoil, terrorism, load-shedding, extreme cold and hot weather ( not ya'll Karachites!), staring idiots, hypocrisy, no good concerts... the list goes on.

.. but there are upsides too. Infact to be honest I see only two. Mangoes and the Literature. What is life if you haven't read Ghalib, Faiz, Meer Dard, Meer Taqi meer?.. or Banu Qudsia, Col. Muhammad Khan, Sufian Afaqi, Umera Ahmad? ..
Its not a perfect childhood if it didnt have Umro Eyar, Taleem-o-tarbiat, Aank Macholi, Kamran Series in it, I tell you.
Incase you are one of the million who missed out on that and now are too old for it, trust me on one thing; Make sure your kids don't do the same..

2:44 PM

A Lover's Lullaby

Has anyone sung you to sleep?

If not, consider yourself lucky. Cause in the delphic dark of the night, when all you can hear is him singing and your heart beating, ever-so-slowly, there hides a magic, oh-so-enchanting. The juju of his voice will never leave you. It will follow you around day-in, day-out. It will echo in every hushed murmur crossing your path. Its in the random breeze of the day, which leaves nothing but still air behind.. and you wanting more. Like a bad jingle on the radio, it's always there, playing so innocently in the background of your life, yet driving you to insanity. Slowly. Gradually.

So never let him sing to you.

Never.

Ever...

2:02 AM

Didja know that...

Pam Anderson wrote a letter to President Barack Obama requesting/ suggesting legalization of Marijuana.

She has also suggested that people found guilty of child molestation should be castrated.

Did you know you could just write a letter to the President of the United states?... like, no special stamps or letter of referances needed. All you need to do is pick a pen and a paper and thats pretty much it.


Cool stuff na?..

1:28 AM

Empathy, anyone?..

My dad's a Mahajir. His family migrated from Bhopal to Pakistan. My dadda was soon-after posted to Interior Sindh and it was in Nawabshah that my father grew up. An Urdu-speaking bloke, in a serious hard-core Sindhi environment. I am not going to go into the details of the kind of bigotry and racial discrimination he, and his family had to face, but to put it mildly it wasn't really very easy for them. The quota system, in the education as well as political situtions caused a great many hurdles in their educational/ professional development. Adding to the whole bit was the feudalistic political situation. The Sindhi wadera's who would get elected to public offices would hire their mazzaras straight off instead of basing the selection procedure on merit. So there were job opportunities taken away, promotions held and deserving scholarships taken away. I'm guessing this is not what my Daddi, daughter of a known lawyer, was expecting when she left behind a life of leasure, an aging father, who refused to leave his city, and her eldest son, so there was someone to look after her dad.

My father, his siblings etc grew up to be much-respected citizen's. Loved and admired, by all. The episodes of racial discrimination from Bhutto's time, acting as anecdotes which didn't do much, other than add a little flavor in their otherwise rather regular lives. There is no bitterness. No racial hatred. Nothing.

...but that's one family, who chose the jo-Allah-ki-marzi-Way. One boy, who chose to chuckle away the rejections and the hatred.

...while some got affected in worse off ways. Who were provoked to a point where they forgot the tehzeeb, the taleem, the terbiat, the entire cultural inheritance, passed on to them by there forefathers. They chose to not 'let-go'. For them it became a matter of pride, of honor, of self-respect.
Then some of them I guess chose to speak againt it. Some sharpened their pencils and took to writing. Some sat on the street corners and argued endlessly over cups of tea.
...then some chose to push a hand... or hold someone by their collar... or slap someone across the face.
Some boys thought of taking up politics. They saw themselves to be the next El Che's of the world. the inequality was too much for them to make peace with. I guess thats how APMSO was formed...

... But a bitter and cynical man can do a lot of harm. Want, for revenge can drive a sane one, insane. Haven't we all felt that?..

...then there is also the whole "power corrupts" phenomenon. The times changed. the oppressed became the oppressors...

I guess what happened after, we all know..














Tis sad, that this had to be ... but why do people not go and look for those who actually gave birth to this all...

Can nobody actually understand where this comes from? Is rage and anger and frustration such alien concepts, that no one can empathize?...

How do you hate the Man who stole only to feed his hungry child, at home?

How do you always chose the right path?

How do you not let rage make you go insane?

How do you put an end to this vicious circle?...

Will someone ever let history be our teacher?...

A quote of Hazrat Ali comes to my mind. I don't remember the exact wordings or the source but it went something like :

"..a society can exist infinitely if its based on kuffer, however a society based on oppression and injustice is bound to be doomed."



Disclaimer:

I do not support MQM, or any other political party for that matter.
I do not think taking up arms is a solution to anything.

2:24 AM

Chala Aaya, Teray Dar Par: Toh Bera Paar Kar Dena

On graduating, I realized that there were so many things that I had wanted to do and I never got around doing cause of my crazy socializing habits, along with the tons of assignments that always had to be turned-over the next day, and stupid papers which had to be written down, or exams / quizzes/ assessments which had to be studied for.

So i made a pledge...

...and made myself a list.

Books which needed to be read

Movies, which had to be watched

Wardrobe, which needed sorting out

Library books which needed to be returned

and then the most important; educating myself about different topics which I always was curious / interested about but never bothered with. The first one on the list was religion. I wanted to finish the Quranic translation. Read the Bukhari, Tirmidhi, Ibn-e-Majja. Read up about the history of Islam and all the different schools of thought.

Luckily or unluckily, my job wasn't very demanding and therefore Thanks to that and a super-fast Internet connection I got 'on' it full-time. Now the thing with information (knowledge, wisdom whatever you wanna put here {yes, I'm aware they are different concepts}) is, that it's addictive. You click on one thing, then you come across ten other un-heard-of-concepts or controversies-you-didn't-know-of, that you didn't know existed before and ... so it went on.

A little back ground.

I belong to a very religious family so religion was always a part of my life. As far as my take on religion, my believes, my opinions were concerned, while a lot of them were based on what I read myself, most of them were based on my dad's take on religion and his dars. My dad took his time with religion. His mother was a writer, a preacher, a teacher and basically a daddi-version-superwoman. So he , like me, also had a religious upbringing. Yet he didn't just absorb it all without first doing his research, taking time in finding faith and making his opinions. Like father, like daughter, I decided it was time I started putting some energy into the whole religious-faith business.

So I fasted. I prayed. I read and read some more.

I thought I would finally be sorted in the religion department. For once know what it actually meant to be a Muslim...

But I found more contradiction. Unrest and confusion. Questions with no answers. Questions which lead me to my first brush with bigotry and a different kind of prejudice... and gradually losing the faith, as i knew it. My aqeedah crumbling, like I never thought it would.

I guess as of now I am an Agnostic Islamic Theist. Its a never-ending journey, the quest for the multitudes of 'absolute truths'. I still try and look for answers. There is a perturbance, which is a constant. I know there is hope, yeah?... *Sarcastic/ Ironic smile*

I wonder how it happens to so many people though? How it comes to them so naturally? With the same ease, as one learns to breathe. No doubts. No confusion. I look at their face and I wish I could have that. The peace.



I always thoughts that religion was the means to an end. Suddenly I don't know what that end is anymore? ...

11:33 PM

Check out MUST hai!

I was rolling on the floor laughing. Maniac Muslim dishes out some serious in-the-mosque humor. Some definite click-now material.

12:36 AM

On being Meera

I didnt know the percentage of complete dykes on my facebook list, until now...

Every second person is sharing this video link and then leaving vile comments... How can some body's misery serve as fodder for your laughs, is beyond me?

Having personal e-mails you exchange with your partner, plastered all over to be viewed by everyone you know, along with complete strangers... That asks for sympathy and respect and not rolling of eyes and smirks...

Disclaimer:

... i did debate on whether i am supposed to put the link up or not... *scratches head* ... and I decided if anyone read this
a) they would have probably already seen the video I'am talking about
b) or they would just youtube it.

so whether I put it up or not wouldnt really matter..
thought I should clarify.

10:00 PM

a quarter life crisis...

The worst part of growing up is turning into the very person you dreaded becoming. Seeing all your ambitions faltering and you donning the dreaded mackinaw of pragmatism. The realization that conquering the world ain't that easy and that the-best-case-scenario is that I will get married, look pretty on my wedding day, have kids, send them to school, retire and live to see them well-settled and happy; I will be mediocre and my life will be a cliche.

I wish we weren't told fairy-tales as kids.

I wish there were no dolls and barbies.

I wish I wasn't spoiled by love and care.

I wish I didnt have a life of leisure.

Cause now fairy-tell endings seem like cliches. Everything which can be bought has been bought and so I have no reason to strive for anything. The evilness and ugliness of this world, the wars , the droughts, the cruelties have made me indifferent. I have stopped believing that I will one day change the world... or even touch a life....

Growing up never seemed so sad... and I haven't even crossed 25

11:19 PM

Say No to H.O.P.E

Hope is a real bitch sometimes.

I often use the phrase “to torture a cliche” before using clichés, but “hope is all we have” is one cliché which tortures me, cause I know that hope happens to give it to us, oh-so-often; We being the fuckups that we are, tend to just over look it all the time.

For instance the “lusting after the un-getables”. Who hasn't indulged in the pop phenomenon? We all do that, be it the pragmatic, office-going, soccer-watching men or the doe-eyed, chickflick-watching, she-bimb-idealists. The belief that a “positive outlook leads to a positive outcome” is all well and good but what’s causing the problem here, is that people think hope is synonymous to having a positive outlook. So goes the vicious circle of people making themselves miserable after Men-&-Women-they-can-just-never.ever-get, losing their self-respect, dignity etc etc in the process and becoming blibbering-pathetic masses of flesh, objects of much *tsk,tsks* from the folks around them.

That’s not the only time; remember the time when you (or someone you know off) had to study for that A, which was the only way you ( or he/she) would get into the college of your (her/his) dreams but you (he/she) stayed up all night playing games on your ( his/ her)X-box or talking to your (her/ a few "his") boy friend. It was cause you were hoping you would still get it, right?..

Oh, oh… what about the time when you chose to not go the activist-“socially aware”- “go green chanting” way, back in college?... you just hoped that the right leaders would get elected, and the planet would some how be rescued. HOPEFULLY!



You see where I am going with this?..

I could quote some other lame ass arguments which you can probably refute with one example or another but that’s not the point. The truth remains, that there are times when you should be hopeful and then there are also times when you need to quit with it. You need to make peace with the fact that there’s no hope. The inevitable remains what it is; Inevitable! What’s important is to learn the difference between the two. In the latter situation, hope just fuels denial and then a bigger disappointment than what was inherently coming to you. Believe it or not, there are people contemplating putting a bullet through their head, just cause they chose to hope at some time in the past. Hope, is not all that the old proverbs / idioms/ pop-culture references etc make it sound to be.

So make your life easier; learn to say no to Hope ...