12:36 AM

The very Un-cool me

Over the course of past few years, during my transition from the very-tomboyish-me,to the very gothic-AND-Punkish-me (Excuse me for not being able to distinguish between the two..*sheepish grin*) to the Highheels-and-Neon-Clothes me and lastly the ME (said like it says it all!) i have finally come to terms with the fact that i might not be "cool", and not because IamHOTsoIcan'ttechnicallybecool way nor the proudtobepaindu way but the rather distastefull uncool, which once you've been branded as, you're doomed kinda way.

So here ya go. I have admitted the fact, instead of debating over it, which I have done previously, again and again. I just admit my fate. Infact just saying it out loud, is part of me embracing it, peacefully. So now the question in your mind must be "How does this rather pretty, and disarmingly charming person not be cool?"...Well its not just one thing, So here is a list, My first official list...aaah, how I like these, and yes there is my reason # 1

Reason#1
I like corny facebook-ish lists; The random 25 things about you was my all-time favorite. Then the Soundtrack of your life, the other dumb lists which i am not gonna name... all of them... and i totally copy/pasted them and tagged people, and emotionally blckmailed them into making their own ...*giggles*

Reason#2
I dont listen to the bands no one else has ever heard of. I loved Spice Girls and BSB, I still dont hate them. I dont like Pearl Jam, Tool or a Perfect Circle, and growing up I dispised my brothers for making me listen to ACDC. I would like to take this moment to say I hate ACDC. Also i do NOT like trance,house, psychedelicwhateverthefuckyouwannacallit...I shall ban it if I ever become the PrimeMinister or the President or the Chiefofarmystaffturnedchiefexecutive..I am telling you now!

Sadly its not just those there is quite a list of big musical giants who I never listened to or cared about. Jimmy Hendrix, Slipknot, Kiss, Korn, Black Sabbath, INXS, The Killers and there are many others. Michael Jackson died, and while there were heavy duty discussions going on about his albums and his videos, the world was in Mourning, and our Sindh Assembly was observing a minute long silence to do their part, I was Wikipedia-ing and Youtube-ing him, as apart from Thriller, Black and White( 0r was it black or white..*scratches head*), and ermm ....earth, I had never listened to the dude... No he wasnt the part of my parents child-rearing programme so I totally missed out on him ( In their defence, there was a fair amount of old hindi classics, Frank Sinatra and some Doris day... So yeah, like I said..Thoroughly uncool

Reason#3
I love to read. However I am not into Science Fiction at all, and I haven't read the big cool names such as Sri Lankabhimanya Sir Arthur Charles Clarke,J R R Tolkien, Will Durant, Rumi, Bernard Shaw, Khalil Jibran.... Yes, I know that i don't deserve to claim a 5-hour-everyday-reading routine and yes i am so not a cool reader.. Also, not to forget, I loathe Classics.. apart from a few exceptions i can't stand anything written by anyone before the 1960's...

Reason#4
I didnt do my A-levels or highschool. I did my Fsc, that too not from a private college where they actually take attendance and actually care whether you sit through an exam but a Government college with around 5000 other girls, no exagerration... Now I know this sounds like I'm taking the educational elitiest point of view here but no it's not that! it's the way GC affects you in these irreversible ways. The way you acquire a lesbianish-vulgar sense of humor, how you can't help but cackle instead of laugh like normal people, You dont mind jumping queues and pushing people to move forward, and the list goes on. My brother often says: "You can take Annie out of GC but you can't take the GC out of Annie".

Reason#5
I didnt go to a cool Grad-School either.

Reason#6
I don't have any cool celebrity sort of friends. I haven't ever had my picture taken for GT or Dailytimes or for the online magazine Skoop ... I don't know any of the ubercool socialite types either... What makes it sadder is that no, i am not a hermit..I do have more than 450 friends on facebook...yet not a single one of them is from that bracket of ohsocool people!...not one!

Reason#7
I dont have any interesting cool drunk stories as I dont drink. Neither do i have intersting tales of my vacations abroad, as I have never gone abroad for vacations (apart from 2 times, which really doesnt count as the first time i was 7 and the second time i was 16, but was with my Khala so yeah!)

Reason#8
I don't have a cool job. I'm an Assitant, Secretary in layman's term!... which means i am at the receiving end of an endless baragge of corny secretarytoboss jokes, which most of the time include blowjobs or doing it on the table.. You can well imagine the level of self-respect i am left with, after reading all those.

Reason#9
I don't have a cool car. My mehran 98, has no side mirrors, is scratched all over, is filthy from the inside and filthier from the outside, has no AC or tape recorder, forget a CD player and to top that all is a shade of PakistanJhandaGreen...

Reason#10
I live in Pindi. Dhoke Paracha to be precise. Need I say more?

Reason#11
My English sucks. I do not understand Grammar at all. My pronounciation screams "IamaPunjabi" even though technically I am not, what with my Dad being Urdu speaking, and his Cadet college Gora Angrazi and My mom being from Murree... I speak with only one consideration and that is "Does it sound okay?"..

Reason#12
I love writing. Its almost therapeutic for me and I have been writing since i was 9 however i can't seem to write a good ending to anything I write. I just don't know how people write an ending. When I'm grown up with a real job and money I will hire an editor just so that she/he can write endings to my otherwise notthatbad diary scribblinsgs/blog entries/emails...

Till then just make peace with uncool ones like this..

14 comments:

Sohaib said...

hi.
this was very funny...i never thought of you to be a cool person..and i feel very sorry for you for not being so cool, rather kool. As you are not kool, and i am kool and all my friends are terribly kool and i mean carbon covalent bonds at absolute zero kool, therefore i don't like to hang out with you. And i am very sorry for your shortcomings which are enumerated as reasons#1,reason#2 and so on. This was kool as paragraphs are totally unKool. And i mean lameass as PTV unkool. And i am sure you love PTV as all unKool people love it. And you forgot to mention that you were the mod of an Orkut's Bryan Adams fan page. That is screaming unKool. hahaha ROFL at Orkut. Where do you live in 2005 eh??
Everything about you is obnoxiously screaming unKool. Even when i am leaving a comment to yo blog i have to enter vessicas as authentication code. How profoundly lame is that? I am sure if i was leaving a comment on some of kool friend's blog, authentication code would've been Kooler like JayCrunchSCushionsinthegymsofHellishavenues etc etc..

i can go on and on. But i have to leave the office so stop i must.

ps: me thinks, your blazingly good nature, remarkable incapability to be mean and idyllic charming physiognomy kinda balances your unKoolnes. but i am only joking..UnKool noob..Lol at your unKoolness. watch some MTV and learn something.

pps: for starters never ask me to comment again..its so addictive and i feel so vindictive..yo try rhyming raps like this to sound kooler..

M. said...

lol i know you and for the record i think you and your sisters are pretty cool

and dhoke paracha has character ;)

Annie said...

@Sohaib...The Orkut Mod, hey that was the Koolest thing ever... it was the biggest Bryan Adams community, on Orkut at that time!.. hahah

@M...I'm flattered :)

Ayesha said...

I am totally uncool myself. But I think what makes me cooler is that I couldn't be bothered with being cool.

And I loved the way you said it all.
It was pretty damn cool!

Natasha said...

don't worry! being uncool is the new cool :)

any my parents totally played the old hindi classics, along with sinatra, nat king cole... the works! when i was kid.... that was cool okay!!!! :P don't think otherwise.

Gigi said...

Nice blog.

Anonymous said...

None of the reasons you mentioned above makes you uncool. Let me tell you What makes you uncool, 1. how you IMPLIED that you've over 450 friends on facebook 2. the fact that you THINK that having supposedly interesting drunk stories would make you ohsocool.

and babes GET a AC in your car, it might make you a bit cool even if only literally. HAHA.

Annie said...

Awww, Anon. Don't be hatin!

..and I didnt imply, I do have more than 450 friends, so HAHA the jokes on youuuuu!...*said in a sing-song tone*

Usama Lali said...

I don't think that these MTV watchin yo kinda wusses are cool at all who can't say a sentence without using the F-word. You're cool cuz confessing your uncoolness and its reasons is such a humorosly-cool way way coool in itself! Keep blogging lady, I like this place...

Usama Lali said...

I don't think that these MTV watchin yo kinda wusses are cool at all who can't say a sentence without using the F-word. You're cool cuz confessing your uncoolness and its reasons is such a humorosly-cool way way coool in itself! Keep blogging lady, I like this place...

Minerva said...

Wow.. Anon seems pissed for no reason :P

What IS IT with these anonymous commentors anyway! Bleh!

PS. Cute lists. Really.

Annie said...

I knowwww... I still have nicer ones compared to some I have seen here and there ...

Everytime you say something nice. I giggle a special Minerva giggle.. its a cross between a smile and a laugh, and my heart does a bunny hop.. eee!

Kanwalful said...

Hahahahha. I loveeeeeeeeeee your blog... I'm reading it through and through right now. And your endings rock. =)

Annie said...

Gee thanks :D ...