10:49 PM

Sex. Pakistan. Women?..

Its funny funny stuff that I am seeing around me. I also read this Newsline article but I never bothered finishing it cause it was just that awful. I hate stereotypes and cliches and this is all there was to it.
I was a late bloomer and I didnt know anything about sex until I was 16. It was in college that I was "educated" by my dear friends, amidst a ton of giggles and dirty jokes. I had by the time already figured out bits and pieces. I came home, asked my Khala. She heard my side of it and answered my questions. My Khala is not a hoitty-toitty, Gucci and LV wearing sort. She's a house wife and just another mom. Traditional yet liberal. She didnt make a big deal out of it and also laughed at a few of my concepts. She didnt scare me or tell me that I should be ashamed of it or not ask any questions. It was just a normal thing.

I was strictly required to keep a distance from my male cousins and friends, but that was only in the physical context. I was still allowed to hang with my male cousins and friends. The only thing my mother stressed on was maintaining a physical distance. Yes, at that time I found that to be very embarrasing more than anything but now I understand her reasons. Simple.

I have been asked about my virginity and I find that to be a very intrusive question. I choose not to answer that one. I think it's my business and that's that! I don't ask anyone about their sex life until its a very close friend and well, ... if she wants to discuss... Yes, I crack jokes about sex. They are funny.. but no, i dont do that with ever Tom, Dick and Harry ( no pun intended..)

As far as romantic relationships are concerned I have never had to experience any form of pressure on that front. No boy tried to convince me or pressurize me into doing some thing I wasn't comfortable with. They all respected my boundaries and my comfort level.

I am sexually liberated but I am not a hippie. I don't believe in "free love", and "Sex is a natural phenomenon and shouldnt be denied and repressed", I think me jumping every pretty-boy-ass I see would result in a disaster rather than happiness and joy. I don't think me deciding to hang on to my hymen is anyone's business. Also at the same time I think there is way more to a person than their virginity. I also believe that, just like the rest of the world, in Pakistan people have all kinds of sexual preferances and that yes, generally we don't like to talk about it in the open but that doesn't mean that we are uneducated in that area or we are repressed. Its just a comfort thing and no more!


Balvinder Singh said...

Bold and honest. Well written Annie.

Annie said...

Thanks Balvinder ji :)

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Very honest thoughts and you have put it down well in simple yet powerful expressions. I do agree with you. There's more to life than sex and it's not decent enough to pry into another's sex life.

Maryam said...

Agreed =)

Pesto Sauce said...

Good you have chosen your path though India is also conservative

owais said...


Just arrived on your blog from TST. Really liked your writting...still in the process of reading your older post.

Sex has always been a Tabu in our society...and sometimes its a worst nignt mare for parents when children (especially girls because boys usually have other sources) question any thing on sex.

I love the way your khala handled you on this topic and if people follow her example , a lot of mistake that we make in our teenage years could be avoided.

Salman Latif said...

Very well put! I must say you really were able to strike a balance on that.
It really is a personal matter and ought to be of none other's concern.

Nahl said...

You said it, girl!
Do you know how amazing it is to read something that makes sense amidst all the rubbish I have come across on such topics?
i admire the way you speak your mind.

Kanwalful said...

I love the way you handled this topic. Sex is NEVER spoken about - and that is kind of unhealthy. My experience finding out about it was a lot like yours.

PS. Your khala is one smart woman.

Sami Saayer said...

ummm spelling mistake in the last paragraph?