1:36 AM

Annie Mama

I was ready to be a mother at 18, yet at 25 marriage still seems like something I don’t want to rush into. I am the Paladin of selfishness, the great defender of that thing called ‘personal space’, so obviously, the rather innocuous word ‘shadi’ scares the bejesus out of me.

But children...

The pitter patter of teeny tiny feet, and their big (taken after me) hazel-brown eyes (taken after dad), with that twinkle (taken after Big S & Little S) which would light my days, my nights. My life painted in baby blues, powder pinks and sunny yellows. The first steps. The first words. Me as someone’s mama. Soul elevation.

They would gurgle, like the little S used to when she was a kid. They would be all nakhras like the Big S used to be at that age. If she’s a girl I’ll keep her hair long, and I hope she has Little S’s silky golden ringlets. I’ll enroll her in ballet school. A mini-me me in a tutu. Dancing. Singing. They would be artsy, undoubtedly, what with me, Little S and Big S making up their momma-brigade.

If it’s a boy I’ll get him a fancy Mohawk. I don’t know what little boys say and do, but I know he’ll be great. Like father, like son.

For once I’ll be able to love endlessly and not give a damn. No heart break. No rejection. No worries of tomorrow, at least not the sort which eat away at your soul.

And now I have another reason

6 comments:

Gigi said...

Hi, Happy Independence day -14 Aug.

Americanising Desi said...

WOW!

can i scream to get myself prgnant maybe :(

Annie said...

Gigi - Thanks a lot

Americanising Desi-

If screaming is what would make a person pregnant, My mom would have had her own army, her own cricket team, her own football team, her own research center, and could have amde millions with recruting laborers for middle east...

Alas!... it doesnt happen like that :P

Minerva said...

Sigh. I don't know what's scary. HAVING a kid or raising it.

Annie said...

I have decided that its a serious tough job raising kids. No matter how angelic they might be & how nicely you rasied them... its gonna be hard

So why not milk it for what its worth and just concentrate on the good side of being a parent... The down side we shall deal with when it comes our way... and i think if i think about it like that, i will probably never grow a pair to have any.. I mean, its serious stuff, innit? ..

So till that day, having kids will all be about painting their tiny toe nails pink and buying them cotton candy at fairs and stuff..

Minerva said...

Your'e right. The best way to deal with it all is to stare blatantly at the upside. Otherwise it's just too darn scary!