10:12 AM

Balance?

Today I was asked to list down my roles in the general scheme of life. For no apparant reason I did so in an order of priority. Without a thought it came to "Daughter, Sister, Cousin, Wife, Friends, Employee"...and then for some strange reason I remembered my last nights conversation with my mother. She wasn't happy. Her complain was the one I have been listening to pretty much everytime I go over to my 'rents. "You dont spend anytime with us". The day before my mother's elder sister, who I also refer to as mama had called complaining about the same thing. I thought of my mother's eldest sister, whose also in town from UK. I hadn't called her in some time too. Sara, my baby sister, who if I refer to as my life, I wouldn't  be too far from the truth, had asked me to come over in the morning. I got there at 9 in the night. Hashim, my cousin, my brother, my pride never asks anything of me. I never give him anything. Irfan, my husband has given me way more than I ever expected from life; A perfect home, the feeling of being loved and respected, a shoulder to cry on and the kind of love, fairytales are made of. I dont think I have been able to give back even half of it. I thought of all these relationships in my life and what a fail I had been at each one of them. Of all the failures in life the realization of this one has to be the hardest.

So today I made some resolutions and promised myself to not forget my priorities. I am writing this note as a reminder to hpw shitty I feel right now. Its my three cheers to priorities and living life the way I thought ideal as a 21 year old.

Anyone else wanna join the resolution-to-be-a-better-person brigade?

2 comments:

Yumna said...

I can COMPLETELY relate to this!! It's easy to say that's managing relationships is a matter of priority, because sometimes, unknowingly you end up hurting/ignoring people who might fall right on top of the so-called priority list!

Annie said...

Yumna, harsh harsh life, I say